- The Bug: Mummy, what’s in that box?
- Mummy: That’s our vegetables
- The Bug: I hope there’s beetroot in there
- Mummy: ?
Beetroot: the most vile product ever to grace the vegetable aisle. It would surely be better placed in amongst the dog-food. I mean, who actually eats this stuff? Something that stains your fingers purple for the next three days, and comes out the other side the same colour (don’t think too hard about that) has to be bad for you, right? Still, that is one of the hazards of taking a random selection of ‘seasonal produce’ – there’s every chance you might one day end up with beetroot.
So, if this should be your misfortune, here is how to deal with it:
Chocolate Beetroot Cake
Or Beetroot Cupcakes – use pink icing flavoured with rose-water. Healthy enough for breakfast muffins too. Just reduce the baking time to around 20 minutes.
This recipe is based on one from Nigella Lawson, but inevitably, and according to our haphazard style, we have changed it and made it better! See if you agree:
- 300g beetroot, topped and tailed
- 250ml Canola oil (but we used sunflower)
- 4 medium eggs
- 250g caster sugar
- 200g plain flour
- 50g cocoa powder
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
Get your Mum to steam the beetroot for 30-40 mins until tender. Cool, peel and chop. Pulse with the oil in a blender until smooth. Add the eggs, sugar and vanilla and mix in thoroughly. At this point decide that you need a wee, go to the toilet and wash your hands carefully – this is very important. Sift the flour, baking powder and cocoa into the mixture. Realise that you only have 30g of cocoa and substitute the rest for chocolate Nesquik. Mix, and then pour into an 18cm oiled and floured cake tin. Bake in an oven preheated to 180 deg celcius (160 deg for fan ovens) for 40-45 minutes, or until Mummy can stab it with a sewer that comes out clean. Cool in the tin for 5 minutes, then on a wire rack. When cold, dust with icing sugar or ice with whatever you like – I prefer pink buttercream and silver balls, about 200,000 should do it. Eat. (Mummy says this makes a great dessert with some creme fraiche, but I say why wait till pudding?).
Get your Mum to make this, and I guarantee you will eat beetroot! Yes, beetroot. And d’you know how many brownie points that will get you with the grown-ups? They will let you eat Haribo every night!