As I mentioned a couple of weeks back, we’re being a bit serious here lately. I suspect that GG is practicing the aloof disain she will be needing in order to become a successful teenager. The Bug is resorting to wry irony in order to deflect his sister’s glare, and the consequence is funees of a more visual, than linguistic nature.
Funny Kids Quotes:
So this week we have invited Ruth from Mixed Bag Of Allsorts to write for us. Ruth joins in regularly with Wot so Funee? and with her linguistic background she always manages to explain were some of our children’s gems orignate from.
The Tracy Island tree-top snake, and other foodie funees
Big thanks to GG and The Bug for letting us commandeer their space for a week to bring you our latest toddlerisms. I hear that the funees are becoming fewer and farther between as Actually Mummy’s kids grow up, but there’s certainly no shortage of them around our way, with Andrew (just turned 3 years) in full force and little brother Joel (15 months) starting to muzzle in on the action. So let me begin…
‘Food and drink’ seems to be a recurring theme for funees that Andrew comes out with. Our last wot so funee? post told of his love of baked beans for lunch, and this week saw him trying to engage in conversation with these little white legumes in orange-coloured sauce:
“Hello….[smiles broadly]….I want to eat you!”
I didn’t hear their reply, most probably scared of him wielding a knife and fork at them. And talking of cutlery, I’m finding it interesting (for those of you who don’t know, I’m a research linguist by training) how Andrew is using the nouns that he knows to describe the actions he’s doing with his cutlery. Here are some examples…
“I can’t fork it!” [a piece of meat wouldn't stay on his fork when prodded].
“Can you help me knife it please?” [trying to cut some kind of food, I can't remember what exactly].
“I’d like to stalk one!” [whilst watching Grandad eat olives with a cocktail stick – yes Andrew does love olives, as does Joel].
We generally can’t complain about the boys’ eating – they’re not too fussy – but they will make it clear when they don’t want to eat something. Joel’s method is to spit it out with a huge tongue manoeuvre, and Andrew verbalises his disgust. Like the other day when Granny and I had cooked a yummy butternut squash risotto: “I don’t like food squash, I DON’T LIKE FOOD SQUASH [apparently saying it louder wards off Mummy with a spoonful containing the disgusting orange stuff]….I ONLY LIKE DRINK SQUASH!” I have to say he’s one up on Daddy for figuring this out so young – Daddy was in his early 20s when he learned that squash could be eaten as well as drunk, after he unwittingly created a hilarious moment of misunderstanding in his future parents’ in law kitchen.
For a while now, Andrew has been very into playing with plastic tea sets, play cooking sets and pretend food. When we were out in the garden playing with the toy kitchen that Granny found in a skip (don’t worry, she asked before taking it and gave it a good clean up, though there was nothing wrong with it apart from a bit of dirt), Andrew offered me a cup of tea. As you can see from this picture, it wasn’t any old cup of tea, oh no, it was a special cup of tea…
Me: “Ah thanks for the offer, but I don’t like green tea.”
Andrew: “Ah, but do you like football tea?”
Now I’m not normally one for fancy teas – give me a cup of bog standard black tea with milk and no sugar any day – but was the exotic football tea worth a try?! Here endeth the food and drink funees for this week.
It’s clear that Andrew is not afraid to sing people’s praises (sometimes literally), including his own. Since acquiring a slide for his birthday recently, he has perfected his technique and attempted some daring feats of sliding. This had led to him declaring: “I’m the greatest in the wooooorrrrllldd!!” as he slides down the metre or so of red plastic. Shame sliding isn’t an olympic sport – unless you count luge and skeleton…. in fact I can imagine Andrew thinking it would be awesome to fling himself feet-/head-first down a long, winding, open tube lined with thick ice on a tea tray!
There are a few ways that Andrew is showing his affection to us these days. Of course there are the spontaneous hugs and kisses, which are very cute to receive from a toddler, and almost as endearing is the random declaration of: “I like you Mummy, you’re my favourite Mummy!” Glad to hear that I rank above all those other mummies you have Andrew! Other family members have received this accolade too: “I like Daddy, he’s my favourite Daddy!” Even Granny and Grandad have heard this praise (good job his four grandparents all have different names), which was just what Grandad needed to hear one day when we got home and he answered the door but wasn’t feeling very well.
In a few blog posts now I’ve mentioned Andrew’s obsession with Thunderbirds, which has been fuelled by some eBay bargain toys that Grandad bought recently – I don’t know who they are more intended for actually. Yesterday we were in the local library, where Andrew was playing with a long cuddly snake that he found on a chair, trying to ride it like a hobby horse (I know, slightly odd, but that’s not the crux of the funee). As he was walking off, snake between legs, I asked where the snake was going…
“Home….up a tree” [ah, I thought, like in the Jungle Book that we watched recently, that must be the link in his mind. But there was more...]
“….yes, up a tree… on Tracey Island!”
Of course, it’s got to come back to Thunderbirds in the end! And all Joel could do was shout “look!” and point to his crazy brother escaping from the kids’ section of the library, riding a snake home to a tree top on Tracey Island.
This “look!” (accompanied by a pointing gesture) was Joel’s first word, often used in conjunction with disbelief at big bro’s antics. His second word was “no!” (or more like “nah”), and his third was “ada/adoo”, which we think is Andrew, though sometimes it seems to be in a context that implies ‘Mummy’ – maybe because I say the word Andrew a lot, he thinks it’s something to do with me? It can take toddlers a while to work out first/second/third person distinctions in grammar.
Finally for today, an incident as we got into the car on our way back from the library. We’d parked on a main road, so I plonked the boys in their seats with the intention of strapping them in once I was inside, to minimise the time the car doors were open on the road. As I jumped into the car myself, I was confronted with a loud:
“You haven’t strapped me in, you wally!!”
The back-seat parrot strikes again! Not such a favourite Mummy now then am I?! He only mimics what he’s heard us say though, and ‘wally’ is definitely an example of that, which no doubt comes from my encyclopaedic knowledge of Only Fools and Horses. Still, it’s nice to know we have an in-built safety feature that means I can’t drive off without having strapped him in first.
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