Ease one 50 year old Mum into jeans (they’re stretch…), checking purchased length was exactly right for the perfect “tuck-into-glorious-boots” effect.
Slip aforementioned Mum’sarms into Zebra jacket, ignoring the nervous “are you sure, darling?’s” issuing from her puckered lips.
Gaze reverently at fur cuffs on high-rise heels, before gently sliding onto matriarch’s foot (carefully avoiding bunions).
Stand well back – matrons on heels can be unpredictable and dangerous. It’s something to do with rickety bones and dessicated joints. Admire and reassure in equal measure.
At this point you will need to deal with one of 3 possible outcomes. Follow the chart below for appropriate actions:
The solution is almost always the same; the important factor to note is that you will need to gain control of the laptop for several hours – this is how long you will want to spend on the Zalando website. Mummy claims it is just for her and a select few of her friends. However I happen to know that they have a huge range of clothes for kids, too. Daddy will also need to be kept away when in possession of a credit card. Check it out – you have been warned
And if you’ve love this post, we’d love you to consider giving us your votes in the MAD Blog Awards, and the Brilliance in Blogging Awards. We were thrilled to be finalists in both last year, and would love to be there again in 2013! Click the badges to your right at the top of the page, to be taken to the voting sites. Thank you x
This week your host is Helen over at Just a Normal Mummy. Now, a small word of warning: don’t go there if you can’t handle square-words, because she uses them a lot! But then that WallyBubba she’s raising over there sounds like she would drive poor Maria VonTrapp to the gin
Last week I told you how the Bug was poorly. Thankfully he’s a lot better, but the inconsiderate little creature has only gone and passed his cough and sore throat on to me! I’m less grumpy than fiery when I’m ill, so EVERYONE has been in a lot of trouble this week!
Mummy refuses to be goaded, saying that what I really need is sleep. But you know, it’s difficult to sleep when every swallow feels like a feather boa going down your throat; and when you finally do nod off you wake up coughing a week’s worth of half-melted Haribo’s out of your lungs!
Sleep – love it or hate it: So no, sleep is not for me. Not for me normally, and not for me when I’m ill. It has been well-documented that I’m a fan of late-night reading, and I indulge to the extent that Mummy has seen fit to remove every single piece of reading material from my room at bedtime. Not even a magazine.
Posters and nail-polish: So when she discovered me still awake last night with a torch she was flummoxed. She had no idea what I could have been doing. You see Mummy, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve. You know those posters of Jessie J and One Direction you let me blu-tack to my wall. There are articles about nail polish on the back of those. You’d be surprised how interesting nail polish can be when you’re trying to stay awake…
Now, if you have your own post to link this week, head over to Just a Normal Mummy and give her a link. You can add the badge code from my sidebar if you’d like, but the one you need to suck up to this week is Helen, if you’re keen for some sharing If you’re new to Wot So Funee? you can click the link for more info on how to get involved.
And if you’ve love this post, we’d love you to consider giving us your votes in the MAD Blog Awards, and the Brilliance in Blogging Awards. We were thrilled to be finalists in both last year, and would love to be there again in 2013! Click the badges to your right at the top of the page, to be taken to the voting sites. Thank you x
10 minutes before school was due to end, one of the ladies from the office came and asked if I could please leave. I was a bit worried. Not normal.
Mummy ran me to the car and took us to Thorpe Park. Really not normal for a Thursday.
I saw Liam from One Direction throwing balls at cuddly gonks. Way beyond normal.
Liam turned, said “Hello darling!” and signed my diary. He called the Bug “Sir,” and put his arms round us for a photo. So not normal that I almost exploded!
The best day of my life…
The boys from One Direction are being filmed having a normal day out with their normal mates, around the UK, for a film being made about the band. We were lucky enough to run into Liam and his friends enjoying a day at Thorpe Park. I do wonder if he braved it backwards on the Swarm! Daddy has been too chicken to have a go since he started his new job there. He says he’s busy, but I’m pretty sure he’s scared. Either that or he doesn’t meet the height restriction
And if you’ve love this post, we’d love you to consider giving us your votes in the MAD Blog Awards, and the Brilliance in Blogging Awards. We were thrilled to be finalists in both last year, and would love to be there again in 2013! Click the badges to your right at the top of the page, to be taken to the voting sites. Thank you x
I’ve got a shed-load on this week, so the quite frankly hilarious Cas from Mummy Never Sleeps, has kindly offered to host Wot So Funee? for me. If you don’t know this blog, you’re in for a treat! She is feisty and funny and you will be adding her to your Google reader (or whatever random substitute you’ve settled on in the wake of it’s demise) toute suite!
Here’s my #funee for the week:
The Bug has been poorly this week. He has a sore throat and a cough that has us all awake intermittently through the night. Consequently he is a little grumpy. And we all have to try a little harder to bear with him – to avoid laughing at him…
Poorly and grumpy Bug:
The first we knew he was unwell: “I feel broken…”
When asked what he wanted for lunch – he couldn’t think straight, bless him: ”My head is scrunched up and wobbly.”
When asked why he was screaming to get out of the bath: “This water is too wet!”
When Mummy heard him going to the loo in the night and went to check he was ok: “Go away! I don’t want you seeing my privates!”
And on discovering a new playground knee injury: “When bruises are born they really hurt!”
Poor boy. Anyone got a cure for the grumps?
Now, if you have your own post to link this week, head over to Mummy Never Sleeps and give her a link. YOu can add the badge code from my sidebar if you’d like, but the one you need to suck up to this week is Cas, if you’re keen for some sharing If you’re new to Wot So Funee? you can click the link for more info on how to get involved.
And if you’ve love this post, we’d love you to consider giving us your votes in the MAD Blog Awards, and the Brilliance in Blogging Awards. We were thrilled to be finalists in both last year, and would love to be there again in 2013! Click the badges to your right at the top of the page, to be taken to the voting sites. Thank you x
I went all out to embarrass my mum today. Egged on by the lovely Mummy Alarm, she decided to give this dress one more outing by joining #TeamHonk’s Red Nose Day Team for Comic Relief. Originally she asked 100 people to donate £1 each. On reaching her target, she promised to wear the silver ball gown she last wore aged 21, to her Eighties themed rehearsal at Rock Choir. Which she did:
But not content with that, Mummy raised the bar, by promising to wear the dress again, on Red Nose Day, on the school-run!#nutter… She wanted £200 before she would brave it. At £163 she made a huge mistake by telling Facebook:
Within 5 minutes she had a donation for £37 from Mediocre Mum, and had reached her target. Thanks for that Chrissie
So today I set my alarm for 7am:
Ugghh! What time is it? It’s 7 o clock Mummy, quick, you’ve got to put your silver ball gown on!
Oh, erm, no darling, I’ll do that, erm… when I come to pick you up later? Maybe? No! Mummy you’ve got to do it now, you have £230 in an account that says you have to!
Oh, ok then, give me a minute…
Forty minutes later she emerged from the bathroom, silver wig, and blue mascara attempting a futile disguise, and I marched her up to school. Well! You have never seen so much horror on the faces of adults and children alike.
“I know, I look ridiculous,” she muttered to the Dad at the head of the playground queue.
“No, not at all,” he reassured her. “It’s just that I’ve never seen you without your glasses. Or with that much cleavage…”
One or two of the children dared to come a bit closer, but none of them could bring themselves to speak. Parents turned their backs and sniggered. I can’t say I blame them, had she not been holding my violin and water bottle I would have stayed well away too
She fared better on the walk home, as parents of toddlers approached and congratulated her on her bravery. Their children were only 3, after all, they still think a huge frock and silver hair is probably a fairy godmother! Mummy was further cheered by this donation waiting on her sponsorship page when she got home:
She went straight into a live Google Hangout to interview Annie, who is having all her hair cut off tomorrow. She didn’t have time to change. She looked completely ridiculous.
There is still time to donate by clicking on the link. Even 50p can buy a vaccine that will save a child’s life. We are proud to be part of the TeamHonk effort for Comic Relief, and we will be watching out for them in the audience tonight on TV. Three amazing women went to Ghana to see just what Comic Relief can achieve. They followed this trip up with visits to domestic abuse centres, and other Comic Relief initiatives in the UK. They did huge cycle rides, climbed Snowdon, and fed their children for £12 for a week.
Tonight Annie,Tanya, Penny and Gemma will be in the audience for Comic Relief live at the BBC. They promise to be loud and lairy on behalf of the awesome #TeamHonk bloggers. And who can blame them!
You can click anyone of the above links to find a way to a page where you can donate to Comic Relief via TeamHonk. I know every single one of them will appreciate the support. Huge thanks to everyone who sponsored Mummy – I know she is grateful, even though she was mortified on the playground this morning!
Now, if you’re a regular reader you may well know that we have once again made it into the finals of the MAD Blog Awards! Last year we were thrilled to win the Schooldays Category and we would love to retain the title! If you think we’re worth it, click on the badge at the top of the page to be whisked away to vote. Or vote here! And thank you! xx
What’s the right age for children to have pocket money? If it were down to me I’d have been spending an allowance from day dot, but I was probably 5 when I got my first ever Pocket Money. Me and the Bug get £2 each on a Saturday. £1 goes into our Piggy Bank for spending on random tat and stuff we want that we’re not allowed.*
The other £1 gets swallowed by another money box to which we are not allowed access. Mummy claims that when it is full, she puts it into an ISA in our name. The idea is that when we want to buy a car or a flat one day, there will be money for a deposit. In truth I suspect she spends it all on shoes…
Anyway, the Bug and I have opposing views on saving. I save my money religiously, counting it nightly, until the next time there is a remote possibility of being close to a shop. Then I spend it all. On whatever I see that I can afford. I have been known to ask shop staff if there is anything in their shop for 32 pence, as that is what I have left. There are no cobwebs in my purse!
The Bug, meanwhile, has no idea how much money is in his Darth Vader money box. He’s not interested. He knows he is not yet up to the £304.99 he needs, and so counting it would only lead to disappointment. You see, he’s saving for the Death Star…
In the meantime, he contents himself with counting his LEGO pieces, and making creative Light Saber designs for the new Star Wars Disney film!
*Stuff we’re not allowed:
Fake tattoos
Moshi Monster figures
Extra hair-clips to add to the 14,000 that adorn every surface of the house
Fake pink hair
Fake glasses
Magnetic earrings
Anything else from Claire’s Accessories
Magazines chosen on the basis of the quality of tat sellotaped to the front cover
Now, if you have your own post to link this week, grab the badge code from the sidebar, and click the link below to enter your post – I can’t wait to see what you have! It’s not obligatory, but if you include a link back here in your own post, I’ll return the favour with a tweet-out. If you’re new here you can check out the Wot So Funee? main page for more info.
We are a bit sick of the cold. It is set to snow again this weekend, and my mind is on holidays. I crave the warmth of sunshine, or at least the cheer of a fresh bright morning. Is it just me who thrills to the sight of a sunny day? Is the school-run suddenly different, more interesting?
No, of course not; it is we who change at the first emergence of the sun; our moods that swing to the ascendant as the sun rises feebly over the playground. It puts a smile on our faces; we didn’t know we were missing it until it came…
This week we were thrilled to have one beautiful (if chilly) day to spend outdoors. The Bug ran in fields – a necessary activity for a balanced young boy! – and I cooked fish on a hollowed-out log. We discovered various styles of den, various lengths of tree branch, various types of panther (cats)… Our parents played with us! We forgot that we were on a walk.Such is the power of a clear blue sky.
Check the sky tomorrow. If it’s grey, fair enough – we all like a good duvet day. If you see the merest patch of blue, get out there – adventure is waiting!
We’re linking this post to Coombe Mill’s Country Kids. We’re looking forward to spending some time with them this year, dragging our parents into their version of the outdoors! Click the badge to see the really great outdoors!
Four years ago me and the Bug, plus M&D went on holiday with some very good friends. We had the most fabulous holiday, and the presence of my friend’s Mum was a huge advantage, given that she is the best natural family photographer in Hertfordshire! I got this as a housewarming gift later that year:
This was followed by a beautiful book of images that we treasure, laughing as we recall a game in the shallow water, a mocktail on the beach, or the sandcastle moat competitions organised daily by our fathers.
Oh how we loved that holiday! And how I thrilled at the arrival of letters from a secret mermaid, whose squirrel friend would surprise us by pegging them on the clothesline every few days for us to find. We would write back to her, and wait with eager anticipation for a reply. Oh yes, I believed, and I continued to write to Melody the mermaid. Mummy has an extra special thank you for her friend, for that lovely to touch to our holiday. THANK YOU, I still believe, 4 years later…
Any suggestions as to how I can ensure a satisfactory response would be most welcome…
If you need beautiful photos of your family and can make it to Hertfordshire you will love Stephanie Belton. Just don’t take her on holiday with you
Now, if you have your own post to link this week, grab the badge code from the sidebar, and click the link below to enter your post – I can’t wait to see what you have! It’s not obligatory, but if you include a link back here in your own post, I’ll return the favour with a tweet-out. If you’re new here you can check out the Wot So Funee? main page for more info.
Here’s what I’m doing for Comic Relief. I’m going round the playground telling all my friends to get their mums to log on to this page and sponsor my Mum. Because I want to see her cringe. Because I know she doesn’t want to do this. And for that reason I want to see her do it all the more.
Mummy promised to wear a silver ball gown from her Twenties to her Eighties dress up Rock Choir rehearsal in aid of Comic Relief. She wanted 100 people to donate £1 each to make her do it. Thanks to some very generous people (thanks Steph for taking her up to the target) she smashed it.
So she did the most ridiculous thing! She promised that on the morning of the rehearsal, if she reached her new, raised target, she would also do the school run in said ridiculous ball gown.
I managed to escape the curse of headlice until the age of 7. Mummy thought it was because she was so meticulous about combing conditioner through my hair every time we washed it. But inevitably the day came when we had to face facts. Head lice come to us all at some point. Sadly we discovered it at bed-time, after a particularly long day – you can see here how that went!
I have super-thick hair, so I spent 2 hours in a bath while Mummy practically scalped the nits off me. Such was her horror and desire to never de-louse me again, that she set about discovering all the facts about head lice she could ever need to know. Some of them surprised her. This infographic tells you all you need to know about head lice:
20 Facts About Headlice Infographic by the team at Giraffe Childcare
I’m itching already, just reading about the little critters!
add one set of hot jeans…
and the coolest boots in the world.
At this point you will need to deal with one of 3 possible outcomes. Follow the chart below for appropriate actions:
I’m linking this post to 
