Wot So Funee?

Last week I may have mentioned how one post-natal Mum embarrassed herself mightily due to the factor I like to call “nappy brain.” Blame it on hormones, tiredness, or the aging process, it seems there are a large amount of Mums with nappy brain. Take a look at these ladies if you don’t believe me!

Missing Sleep, on a trip to the swimming pool, discovered she couldn’t get her locker open. She got the staff to break into to get her clothes out, and then panicked because it was empty. After raising the roof about her stolen clothes, it began to dawn on her that it was a completely different locker! *insert eyeroll*

At Chez Mummy the dirty nappies went into the washing machine with the clothes. Laura blames being on maternity leave, with a 6-month-old to distract her. Yeah, yeah – have you noticed how they always blame it on the ones who can’t talk? Nappy brain…

You know that super craft blogger that can do incredible stuff with a loo roll? Yes, that one, you know who I mean don’t you? Turns out even she has nappy brain – she only washed the baby monitor (hmmm there’s a theme here – maybe Mums should stay away from the washing machine)! In an exclusive interview, Maggy had this to say:

Surprisingly it still worked, but for the first week or two, the baby sounded as if it was under water

There are Mums in denial. Take Rebecca, a formerly sharp-witted blogger:

No I have nothing to share. No way. I have never put my car keys in the bin at the ice rink, lost my wallet in the supermarket and had a kind lady search through the whole of my trolley with me only to find it in my handbag, or lost my house keys (and the only one we had with us) during a weekend away, only discovering they were missing when we arrived home in the pouring rain. Ahem.

Then there are the Mums who think they are superwoman – forget it ladies, stick to the basics unless you want to end up like The Singing Mummy:

After having Alfie I was so tired but insisted on making husbands lunch ready for work when he went back and being a ‘good wife’. When he got to work next day he texted me to let me know he really appreciated the effort I went too but he much preferred ham rolls to bread and butter! : ) I had totally forgotten to put any ham in!

Mums with nappy brain: take heed and be extra careful where toilets are concerned! A pregnant I’m Counting UFO’s  forgot to remove her ante-natal urine sample from her handbag. Easily done. Then she went on holiday. On an aeroplane… Apparently the security man whipped out a bag marked BIOLOGICAL WASTE. There’s an expression for how she felt and it involves the ground swallowing!

Lucy from My Mummy Life recently booked a holiday at Center Parcs for completely the wrong year… Coincidentally she also took the baby to her swimming lesson, and returned to discover a pan of bolognese burning on the hob… D’oh!

Cooking is definitely a risky area, and I wonder if more children = worse nappy brain? If so 2.4 Children has half an excuse for locking the front door with the keys still inside, and the gas rings on. There is also a theme for things going wrong where keys are concerned. Who’s going to rescue Mummy Mummy Mum! before she dumps her kids, bag and keys inside the car again – locked!?

Hands up who puts things in ridiculous places? Blog by baby searched high and low for the butter the other day, only to find it in the bread bin. My Mummy can relate to that, having once plonked the kettle in the fridge! (Don’t let on I told you – she’ll put me to bed really early)!

With so many daft Mums at large I sometimes wonder how any of us grow up unscathed. Mummy Glitzer confesses that when she was weaning her baby she carefully made up his baby rice and placed it on the kitchen floor for the cat! She then tried to feed him cat biscuits, complete with formula milk. Hang on a minute while I look up the number for Childline…

You know those moments when you think you’ve lost your child? The panic that sets in. There is a 45 second video at our house of moving sand, complete with screaming, as Mummy ran all over a packed beach looking for the Bug, who had fallen into a deep hole and was no-where to be seen. She is very embarrassed by it but we won’t let her delete it. Mummy 2 Five‘s Mother in Law knows that feeling as she searched for her grandson at the fairground. He was next to her, on his Dad’s shoulders. Just look up!!

Never mind Mums, there is always wine at the end of the day. Or maybe nappy brain is caused by the wine…? Spare a thought for the poor old Adequate Parent, who thought she’d nabbed a bargain when she did her Ocado order. She congratulated herself on getting two bottles of Banrock Station for a bargain price. They were miniatures. The worst thing? The bottles were £1.50 each….

Nappy Brain is a real affliction.
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